Alleviated Gender Dysphoria since Bottom Surgery

Written by: Kimberlee Model, posted: 2022-07-04. Tags: Transgender, Identity and Politics.

As of Saturday, I'm exactly a month past my vaginoplasty surgery. In this post I'll write a bit about some of the things which I no longer have dysphoria over and which may now cause euphoria.

Fair warning that this post will discuss my genitals both before and after surgery, urine, women's clothing and perhaps other sensitive topics.

I'll say one of the first things I noticed was no longer having erections. Pre-op, having erections always caused me difficulty whether when waking up, just at home, or having to conceal out in public. I think I noticed this on the first day after I was released from the hospital. When I woke up, my menstrual pad was causing discomfort, and I thought, "well, at least its not an erection", and inspite of the discomfort, this put a smile on my face. Now, when I feel physical arousal, I still feel pressure in certain areas of my vagina (most notably the clitoris and where the base of my penis had previously existed). It isn't quite like, but also not entirely dissimilar from an erection. Most importantly, I no longer need to feel so much shame over this.

The next big moment came at least a few days later, when I tried to put on a tight pair of jeans shorts. In spite of the swelling around my vagina and the afformentioned super-thicc maxipad, I noticed there was no more bulge in my pants. A fact which I shared with my family members, who were very proud of me. The next day, I wore a flowey soft cotton-blend dress, which I'd previously noticed tended to imprint my bulge. On at least one occasion I caught myself checking if I needed to cover it up, only to remember that I no longer had anything to cover up.

This morning, when I got up and used the restroom I noticed one more thing, which needs a bit of explanation, as I doubt anyone else would have noticed, although it did cause me serious concern. Previously, when urinating with my penis, in a public restroom, I noticed that my urination made sound only when hitting the bowl, while I could hear the urine stream leaving the bodies of women in other stalls. It caused me anxiety to think that other women could notice this and clock me from the sound of my peeing. Well, this morning, I noticed for the first time that my vulva made the same sound I'd heard other women making while urinating.